Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
