Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm sobbing to NWA
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize