i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
