Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
ok first of all what the fuck
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
