i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize