well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
