Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
