omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
