Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize