i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
