last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
