so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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