i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Dignity is for republicans.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize