there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
