did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
