Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
