saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Randomize
