yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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