so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
