then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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