man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
