i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
