Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
