some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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