called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I woke up under a house in Key West
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
