How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
