I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He has the fingertips of a God
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