Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
