I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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