I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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