if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
