Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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