Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
