If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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