Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
