What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize