she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize