the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
