I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
