Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
