i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
