I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
