3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
