:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
