No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
