I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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