I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize