She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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