I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
