scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
