i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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