Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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