But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
