They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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