Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
