Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
