since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
