I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
