The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
